ravenknuckleup?!

wow. what a gay screenname! ;D just kidding?!
i'm wiff raven right now. she's pooping. i'm drinking a mini coke. life's alright.

just kidding about the last part. a lot has been going on the last few days, it's scary. i've realized, since monday, there are NOT a lot of people i can really trust, only five... COOL.

other than that, school's alright. the days seem like they're going by way too slow, though, and it sucks. but it's whatever. i think i'll survive, one way or another.

ugh.

i'm terrified at the moment. and unless you're brent or nate, you wouldn't know, nor would you understand. NOR would you care.

so lately,

i've felt completely friendless, and let me tell you, it's not a good feeling to have..

sundays are the worst.

nobody likes them. especially since it's the last day of vacation. but i'm alright with that- i kind of miss school. i haven't done ANYTHING at all this week, so i'm really excited to get back and see people again. but i'm not looking forward to the SCHOOL part. not at all.

chase coy?!

im absolutely OBSESSED with him. his music is beautiful (like his hair!?) and his songs explain my life, spot on. it makes me want to just go for it- start writing music again. sure, my voice isn't the perfect, but i try, and singing is what makes me happy; along side of photography and nate. it's like music knows me and i sure do know music. and i'm also starting to play the piano, which i'm stoked about. lolol, i can't even read music. i'm glad i can play by ear! i dont know.. music just intruiges(sp?) me and fascinates me to no end. i wish i could write music like chase. i really really do. i could listen to him for he rest of my life, and i'd be happy.(:

today...

was god awful. hahaha, i went to work with my step mom and we did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING but go to meetings for ten hours straight. I'M NEVER WORKING IN AN OFFICE, not ever.

this whole blogging ordeal... i really like it. a lot more than i thought i would. <3

cubicle

i'm never ever ever working in an office, no way, no how. it's like hell, sitting in one of these. chlaustrophobia, FTMFW, yuht.

work.

i'm going to work with my step mom. this should be fun..

i can't sleep.

insomnia is hell and i wish i could just fall asleep. and my iPod is about to die. i might as well write about today- nate and i hung out all day. we watched My Girl 2 (My Girl is our favourite movie.) and played with my brothers. we had spaghetti for dinner, then went for a long walk. we walked back to my house in the rain, and it was PERFECT. today was good. i needed to just get out and spend the day with him. it was wonderful.

formspring?!

people are heartless. wether or not they know it, they're simply breaking people's hearts into teensy little pieces. it's hard to sit there and pretend that the things they say don't hurt me, but in all reality, they hurt. bad. sure, it's cool to see what people think about me, but some people just bring it too far and things start becoming personal. it's hard to say things like, "it doesn't matter what you think of me," because it really does. i honestly don't CARE about what people think of me, but it sucks when they think the bad things. it's not like what they say is really going to affect me, it's not going to change who i am, and how i think about myself, but it really does suck. i try really hard not to be too bad of a person, and i'm truly sorry to all people that i have been mean or rude to, but what you think of me really doesn't matter.

blogging is weird, i feel like i'm talking to nobody, but everybody at the same time.. but i sort of like it.